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When You Love To Read…But Your Child Doesn’t
Reprinted from LDA of Arkansas
Winter Edition 2006 Newsletter
It is Sunday evening. The dishes are done, the dog is walked, and the
laundry is folded. It’s the ideal time to relax with the New York
Times, and my husband and I sink into the couch and each grab for our
favorite sections. At the same time, our 15-year-old son, Alex,
reaches for the remote control.
It is a nightly struggle between two adults, both avid readers who
love a good novel as much as Atlantic Monthly, The New Yorker and
Shape magazines, and our son, who hates to read. For Alex, the idea
of relaxing has nothing to do with books. In fact, he considers
reading a form of torture, something he is forced to do at school,
and avoids at all costs from the moment he arrives home.
Reading is “stupid,” it is “boring.” it is “for nerds,” according to
our son, who is severely dyslexic. By the time he stumbles through a
page of text, painstakingly sounding out difficult words with the
strategies he’s learned after years of tutoring and remediation, it
is no surprise that the larger context is lost. And of course any
pleasure he might derive from the story is also long gone.
How does a book-loving parent cope? Is it appropriate to give up the
campaign to get one’s child to read, and accept the fact that some
people will never read for pleasure?
Dealing with “Helpful” Suggestions
When our friends or other parents hear how much Alex dislikes
reading, they can’t seem to help themselves from giving us
suggestions. What the probably don’t understand is that the tips that
are useful to kids who find reading easy, most often don’t resonate
for a struggling reader.
Some of the most common suggestions include:
Have we tried reading aloud to him? (Of course, how do you think he
finished Of Mice and Men, and Harry Potter?
Have we gotten him books that reflect his greatest interests –
motorcycles, cars, animals, sports, music? (Yes, we have a library of
books on mammals, motor vehicles, famous musicians, and beloved spots
heroes.)
Have we thought of comic books or magazines that focus on his
passions? (Check out the bookshelf in our son’s room -- Guinness Book
of World Records, subscriptions to Car Action and Drummer magazines,
stories of action heroes and comic book compilations fill the
shelves.)
Each of these purchases holds some interest at first, at least while
we are at the bookstore. But the persistence required for a
struggling reader to get through any one of these publications is
more than Alex can muster.
We’ve tried offering bribes, giving encouragement, taking turns
reading every other page, abridged versions of classics, and of
course, books on tape.
What Has Worked
While there is no miraculous breakthrough to report when it comes to
our son’s willingness to sit down with a book, we have found ways to
promote his literacy. Every child is different, but here are some of
the strategies that have worked for us:
Books on tape: Thanks to Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic, a
nonprofit organization that offers reasonably priced books on tape,
we can get any book Alex needs to read for school. Using books on
tape is part of his IEP, but any parent can get a book on tape and
use it as back up or support. We are also regulars at the bookstores
that carry a wide selection of books on tape, as well as the website,
www.booksontape.com. Alex
will listen to books once he’s in bed, although he’d still rather
watch TV if given a choice.
Reading aloud: Even though some kids are too proud to let their
parents read aloud to them once they are out of elementary school,
we’ve found a balance that us to read books together. For us, the
best approach is to say it’s a book we want to read, too, so that his
feelings of embarrassment can be put aside.
Watch the movie first: While there aren’t movie equivalents for many
books, when we can find them, we watch and discuss them together.
It’s how we plan to get through To Kill a Mockingbird this year.
Abridged books: It’s not my preference to read the abridged versions
of the classics, but if it helps Alex stay caught up with his class,
it’s better than nothing.
Books with large print: For some kids with learning difficulties,
getting books with larger type can be helpful. Maybe it’s that the
pages are less intimidating with less text, or maybe it is the fact
that there are fewer works per line, but it seems to make the going a
bit easier.
Read the newspaper: In our case, it’s the sports section that
sometimes catches Alex’s attention. He’ll suffer through a sports
story if it means he can learn some new stats on his beloved Barry
Bonds. Other kids may find the Arts section or the Science section
more compelling.
Think visual: Okay, so a 15-year-old is too sophisticated for picture
books, but there are still some publications that have enough images,
illustrations, and photos to add context and interest. One favorite
is National Geographic.
Seize the moment: If Alex decides he’s in the mood to read, but it’s
11 p.m., on a school night, or it’s time to make dinner, we try to
drop everything to take advantage of the moment. You can’t always do
it, but sometimes you can, and usually you’ll be glad you did.
Stay away from jargon or “in jokes”: Often kids who have learning
disabilities don’t get the subtleties of humor or slang because they
interpret words literally. If you have to explain every joke on
Captain Underpants, it’s no longer funny and it can make you child
feel ignorant.
What works for one child or family won’t necessarily work for
another, but with experimentation, you and your child will find
solutions that help. My husband and I have discovered that, once in a
while our perseverance pays off. The other night when I was dozing
off and I heard voices from my son’s room, I tiptoed down the hall to
find he had fallen asleep with his book, My Losing Season by Pat
Conroy, still playing on the tape recorder. I suppose that’s as close
as he’ll get to dozing off with a good book poised on his chest. But
maybe it’s just as good. @2003 Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation.
About the Contributor
Melinda Sacks is a journalist who specializes in writing on children,
learning disabilities, and family issues. She has written for the San
Jose Mercury News, the San Francisco Chronicle, Sanford Magazine and
many other Bay Area publications.
Other Resources
Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic
www.rfbd.org
Books on Tape
www.booksontape.com
Recorded Books, LLC
www.recordedbooks.com |
